Hack! (2007)

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... like the kids, so everyone gets along great. Then their teacher disappears. Then the phones go out. Naturally, they start smoking reefer and splitting up to breed and then start disappearing one by one.

We've all seen this movie before. That's not even the biggest problem, sadly. Self-awareness can elevate the horror when done well, but it's not just the patently Buffy-esque rag-tag collection of teenagers that are guilty here. Even the film's killers are in on the ridiculous gag. From conversations about Saturday morning cartoons, to the blatant similarities to other famous horror films to referencing those films in the dialogue this movie literally has absolutely nothing to say other than to remind you that it has absolutely nothing to say.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans might like to see Juliet Landau doing her thing, and Danica McKellar is as gorgeous as ever. And yes, there are some bouncing boobies and a bucket or three of fake blood. However, you don't get there without a truck-load of bad acting, plot holes wider than Texas and continuity errors in nearly every scene. HACK! does earn a few extra points for a pointless twist at the end and surprise incest. None of this, however, can save it from being an uninspired slasher.


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