Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman
Director: Dominic Sena

Starring: Katie Featherston
Director: Tod Williams

Starring: Tobin Bell, Tanedra Howard, Costas Mandylor, Cary Elwes
Director: Kevin Greutert

John Ajvide Lindqvist (novel) and
Matt Reeves (screenplay)

Let’s start with the characters. First we have Travis who plays your typical loud, obnoxious, misogynist frat boy. Apparently they couldn’t find anyone moderately attractive with muscles for the part so they settled on the first loud and outspoken guy that did a screen test for them,at least that’s the impression I got from watching Ila Schactler’s painful performance. Next in our cavalcade of crap we have Stephanie who plays a bitter, unattractive, feminist with a permanent chip on her shoulder and an outlook on life that almost made me want to shoot myself. Again the performance given by Michelle Roe was two dimensional, and even that might be adding one dimension too many. Finally we have Ryan, played by Michael Downey, who plays the geeky introvert that is usually behind the camera for most of the film but, brings nothing to the table that we haven’t seen a hundred times already and a hundred times more ably performed. Now I don’t expect a lot of depth out of characters in a horror film but, this terrible trio have about as much depth as a bottle cap.

Apparently what the characters lack in depth they also lack in motivation and brains. For one these three fairly normal, if obnoxious kids, who display no other psychotic tendencies throughout the movie just decide to kill someone because they are bored. To stretch a thin premise even thinner they decide to select the person at random from on campus. They have absolutely no motivation to do this terrible thing which I suppose the writers, Stuart Ball and Scott Phillips, who also directs, felt would add to the horror of the story. Sadly they were very much mistaken. Thin premise and motivation aside these three chuckleheads talk early on about being careful so they wouldn’t get caught. They end up discussing this plot, using the words murder several times, in a coffee shop amongst other public locations. When they finally choose their killing ground Travis decides it would be a good idea to cut his hand and “mark” the area. Sure leave that DNA evidence behind along with the beer bottles that you were swilling down and tossing away nearby with your fingerprints and DNA all over them. Haven’t these kids ever watched CSI? Apparently they were too busy being bored enough to kill to pay attention to prime time TV.

The style leaves a great deal to be desired. The whole film is shot in the faux documentary style that was popularized by “The Blair Witch Project”. Where “The Blair Witch Project” actually made the style work this movie showcases just how bad that can be when done improperly. Most of the shots in the film look like they were done by amateurs trying to imitate an amateur style. You end up with at least a dozen scenes with just shoes or crotches in the movie while the dialogue takes place off screen at a damn near inaudible level. If you have compelling visuals I can forgive quiet audio but, if you have crap and you couple that with audio that makes me strain to hear it then you have a whole new level of bad. The sometimes quiet audio would have been a bigger issue if the plot was actually worthwhile but, it took me about fifteen minutes of watching the movie to determine that I wasn’t missing much.

I do not recommend this movie unless you happen to be a masochist in need of pain, or you keep a masochist chained up in your basement. For everyone else out there give this stinker a pass or forever regret the hour and twenty-eight minutes of your life that you’ll never be able to get back. Remember Uncle Kreepshow loves you and there is no reason for you to watch a bad movie, especially not this one.

The overall plot is your typical vengeful ghost story with a few surprising and welcome twists. It isn’t often that a movie can surprise me. There are usually just too many gimmes in a plot for me to be legitimately surprised by anything. I was floored when the identity of the killer was finally revealed. It was so unlikely and yet the plot had all the indicators so it didn’t feel out of place or forced. I ended up feeling like I had missed some breadcrumbs somewhere back along the path and gotten totally lost but, in a good way. My one criticism is that I wish they had gone into more detail with the larger phenomenon that they hinted at during the movie. I almost envisioned a Romero-esque rise of blood ghosts seeking revenge on those who wronged them. The ending left things wide open for a sequel and, if they can maintain this type of quality storytelling I hope they make it. This ghostly gore fest should make anyone’s terrifying top ten movies to watch.